Turn Regret Into Growth: The Regret Review and Pre-mortem Strategy

🎯 Why Do January Resolutions Fail Every Year?

Every January, millions of smart, motivated people quietly make the same mistake. It destroys the year before it even begins. It's not laziness. It's not discipline. It's something far more predictable and far more fixable than that.

After 25 years of studying motivation and performance, the pattern is clear across athletes, executives, students, and parents. The people who thrive don't rely on inspiration. They rely on structure.

Today, I'll introduce two powerful tools to transform past regrets into future success.

📋 First Strategy: The Regret Review

Start with Discomfort

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Then look back on last year and choose your biggest regret. Not a list, not a bundle—just one.

The one that bugs you the most. Something you didn't do or wish you'd done differently.

Maybe you didn't start that side project you said you would
Maybe you drifted from people you care about because you didn't reach out
Maybe you spent too much time scrolling and not enough time reading

You Need Two Pieces of Paper

First paper: Write down your regret. Physically write it. It's going to hurt, but that's a sign that it's working.

Second paper: Write two things:

The lesson you learned from that regret
The small plan you'll follow in January to avoid repeating it

For example, if not protecting writing time is your regret:

Lesson: I need a stricter, non-negotiable schedule
Plan: Block 3 hours of dedicated writing time every day in January

The Best Way to Deal with Regret

Research on regret shows:

Worst way: Ignore it
Second worst: Wallow in it
Best way: Stare it in the eye and use it as a tool for getting better

Look at that first page again. It won't feel great, but recognize that you're human, that we all make mistakes, and treat yourself with compassion.

Then crumple that paper and throw it away.

Keep the second page—the one with the lesson and the plan. That's your guide for the first chapter of 2026.

💡 Regret isn't weakness. It's instruction. Use it to decide what matters most in the year ahead.

🔮 Second Strategy: The Pre-mortem

You Know Post-mortems, But What About Pre-mortems?

Most of us know what a post-mortem is. But how about a pre-mortem?

Now, jump to the end of 2026. Seriously, close your eyes.

It's New Year's Eve, December 31st, 2026, and the thing you cared about most didn't happen.

You said you'd take two unforgettable trips, but you barely left your zip code
You said you'd spend more time with your family, but work or distraction or inertia got in the way
You said you'd finally start writing that book, but the pages are still blank

Ask yourself: What went wrong?

Psychologist Gary Klein's Pre-mortem

Post-mortem: Explains why something died
Pre-mortem: Explains why something might die before it happens so you can stop it

Stay in the future for a moment. Imagine what went wrong.

Maybe you failed because you never put the important things on your calendar
Maybe you failed because you relied on motivation instead of structure
Maybe you failed because no one was holding you accountable and you drifted

Write Down All the Reasons for Your Imaginary Failure

Then design 2026 to block those failures from becoming real.

If your future self failed because you didn't plan family time → Schedule 10 sacred family days right now
If your future self failed because nobody was holding you accountable → Find someone this week to keep you honest

Pre-mortems work for every major project. They've saved countless people from blind spots, wishful thinking, and painful mistakes.

💡 Jump forward. Imagine the future, then build a version of 2026 where that failure never gets a chance.

🎨 Bonus: Choose a Theme Word for 2026

New Year's resolutions are fine, but challenge yourself to do something more. Choose a single word and make it your theme for the year.

Not a sentence, not a paragraph—a single word that captures the kind of year you want and the kind of person you're trying to become.

Examples:

Simplify: Reduce complexity, focus on essentials
Connect: Strengthen relationships and communication
Build: Create new things and grow
Ship: Move from exploring to executing, put work out even when imperfect

Psychologists call this a self-cue—a simple word or phrase that instantly snaps your attention back to what matters.

When you're lost, remember that word and let it guide you.

📅 Organize the Year Into 90-Day Seasons

A year is a long time. 365 days, 8,760 hours. That's why so many people lose steam.

Instead of approaching the year as one extremely long stretch, treat it as four shorter chapters, each with its own focus.

Why 90 Days?

Long enough to make real progress
Short enough that you can see the finish line from the starting line

When the finish line is closer, motivation goes up and persistence gets easier.

Research on quarterly goal-setting shows the same thing. Shorter feedback loops lead to longer-lasting effort and faster course correction.

Do a Mini Reset Every 90 Days

Reflect on what worked
Reset what didn't
Redirect your time and energy toward the next season's priorities

💡 Four 90-day pushes will beat one vague 12-month intention every single time.

✨ Conclusion

Don't ignore regret. Transform it into lessons. Imagine future failures, then design to prevent them. Create a compass with one word, and run in 90-day sprints.

This is the first step to making 2026 the best year of your life. 🚀